disconnected...

I've been feeling very disconnected from my life lately - a symptom of that is the lack of posting here. More worrying though are all the other aspects of my life that I'm just letting slide. I haven't sent a non-urgent email in almost two months, I have overdue library fines everywhere, my room is a mess, I haven't written in my lab book since April, I haven't even thought about my qualifying exam proposal, I live with a bunch of people who I never see because I'm always in the lab. The worst part is they all think I'm working too hard when really it's just inertia. I get to lab at 10 at the earliest (so far 1 is the latest) and once I get here I turn on my computer and spend the rest of the day meaning to get up and start everything I have to do, but as soon as I think of anything that will take the slightest bit of effort I start to worry and have to play another game of spider solitaire (I think I'm over minesweeper). At night, I can't even muster the initiative to leave the building so I end up just sitting here... (It's 9.45pm now) or I finally get some energy and have to go and do everything I've been putting off for the whole day (eg tonight, my advisor offered me a lift home, but I still had experiments to do. Oh well, I guess it's not a terrible thing if he thinks I'm working late, is it?)

So, my accomplishments for the past week or two are:
solving all 100 levels of Crypt Raider
solving all 50 levels of Puzzled Sheep
getting my "difficult" level Spider solitaire percentage up to 13% (from about 3% so it's really about 50% recently)
solving many, many sudoku puzzles
starting to get the hang of cryptic crosswords
reading some books for a change (I recommend "the Poisonwood Bible" despite the fact that it has the Oprah's bookclub logo on it, but I'd also recommend not reading it the same day you watch "Hotel Rwanda"... Also, the book "Howl's Moving Castle" is much, much better than the movie, but the movie's not bad)
oh! something actually useful, maybe! printing a huge stack of papers to read! (I kept meaning to read them on my computer so I wouldn't waste paper, but all those games are ruining my supposedly perfect eyesight and anyway, I just avoid reading them if there are other distractions)

things remaining on my to do list:
read huge stack of papers
figure out aims for thesis project
write proposal
write up last 2.5 months worth of experiments in my lab book
hmm, first, figure out what I've done for the past 2.5 months
clean room
do house chores
take last library book back
find missing library book
email everyone I owe an email to (ie everyone I know)
write a bunch of posts I've been thinking about

This wasn't supposed to be a whiny post about everything I should be doing. It was still going to be whiny, I guess, but more about how I can reconnect with my life. I don't really have much of an idea besides just doing the things I need to do, but "just do it" hasn't been working for me lately so I think I need to figure out why and what I can change that won't be hard or scary enough for me to just avoid it. Any ideas?

Oh, I did have a couple of other accomplishments, I guess - I asked a question at a seminar last week for the first time ever! And, this week I asked one at a round table thing!
My big stack of papers has finally finished printing so I guess I'll go home now. Oh wait, I have to wait 15 minutes for the shuttle bus... maybe I should go now anyway so I don't end up missing the next 3 as well.