another pointless therapy session

I was dreading going to my therapy appointment this morning, as usual. Usually I have to wait a few minutes. There's a sign up saying if you're waiting more than 10 minutes, to check in with the receptionist. I never do. I just sit there hoping that my therapist forgets about me or is running really late (despite mine being the first appointment) or something so I can escape. Today, I was waiting a bit longer than usual and I assumed she was reading the email I sent last night. When I got in there, though, it turned out she never got it, which was even worse than if she had gotten it, because then she tried to make me tell her what it said. I couldn't, of course. I think she finally got that I'm so frickin' terrified in there that there's no way I can talk. She tried to suggest ways to change the setup so that it might be easier, but her suggestions were things like walking around or playing cards or something while talking and I think that would make it worse, if anything. I got the impression, the first time I emailed her, that she dismissed the idea of using some messaging program to talk online, instead of face to face, but I wonder if I should suggest that.
She asked if I could use the computer in the hallway to send her the email she didn't get, but I couldn't send it to her and then come back into the room and have to talk about it. I couldn't explain that, though, and I thought she was getting annoyed at me because I just couldn't say or do anything. And then she tried to trick me into answering her questions while she made the next appointment. It felt like a trick, anyway, because she's noticed that I'm usually a lot less anxious while she makes the next appointment and she thought that would mean I'd be able to answer questions if she shifted the focus, but I only relax because I'm usually safe from questions then; it doesn't work if she keeps asking things.
Once I got into lab I sent her the email I wrote yesterday. She'd also asked about how the depression is affecting my daily life, so I described how I can't get out of bed and never get anything done etc. She wrote back pretty much straight away asking if I felt suicidal and reminding me there's always someone on call to talk to. She also asked if I'd talked to a friend I've mentioned going to a movie with sometimes about how I've been feeling.
Pretty much the only thing I've been able to actually tell her is that I can't talk to anyone at all. I thought maybe she was starting to get that today, but then, why would I be able to talk to this friend or worse, some on call person, if I've never been able to talk to her after almost a year?
I know I'm being unfair to expect her to piece together the few scraps of information I've given her, and understand exactly how impossible it is to talk to anyone, but a year of therapy and I can't even answer a non-yes/no question? Doesn't that give some indication?

Of course, the rest of today sucked, too. As soon as I got here, I had a meeting with Overly Verbose Student and my (not exactly taciturn himself) advisor for three frickin' hours. I spent most of the time concentrating on keeping my head from exploding, so combined with my week spent doing exactly nothing, I wasn't exactly contributing anything. I've spent the rest of the afternoon trying to recover and I managed to chat with another student for a bit. I'm still putting off the 3 hour (at least) experiment that has to be done today (the same thing as 2 weeks ago). I so badly want to go home.

Oh, she also said medication can't really help if the depression is just because of feeling so lonely etc, which I took to mean I'm pretty much stuck feeling this way and I'm just making myself miserable...