undeserved kindness

I was pretty much just going to ignore my birthday this year. I felt awkward about asking people to do anything with me when I've spent the past few weeks/months avoiding them all. I got an email on the weekend, though, saying my housemates were going to make dessert if I was free last night. They got me an incredibly awesome miniature version of the Pompon polar bear sculpture that I love. A couple of housemates also took me out for dinner before the delicious dessert. My advisor and labmates surprised me with ice cream in the afternoon, too.
I felt very spoiled and I enjoyed all the treats, but of course, that's too straightforward and positive for me... I also felt incredibly undeserving and kind of guilty that everyone is so nice to me, but I'm not a good friend to anyone else. I feel guilty that maybe I didn't react enthusiastically enough to show how much I really love my present, too. I did stay out of my room and hang out with housemates for at least part of tonight (after surviving my second appointment with the scary psychiatrist. It wasn't quite so torturous this time, although I still felt like a freak. He's letting me go back to the meds nurse, although he did make me promise to stop by and let him know how I'm going if he's there. Yeah, right... I'm pretty sure he won't be there at 8am, luckily.)