time to hibernate already
15 minutes ago, I was fine. Now, I'm struggling to stop crying and I have no idea why. It could all the things I have to do for lab that I've been avoiding. I'm kind of worried it's the fact that it's cold enough to wear jeans and need a jacket again, though. The depression started lifting when summer finally arrived and I've been almost starting to get used to feeling okay most of the time and trying to convince myself it's time to get rid of the lazy work habits that became entrenched while everything was so much harder. The last few days, though, I've been feeling panicky and sad again.
I'm hoping it's just coincidence that the conference I have no results for and my thesis committee meeting are happening when it's starting to get cold again. Still, the thought of the cold, dark, miserable months ahead, and not being truly warm again until next May is enough to make me cry on its own.
I know all the warmth hasn't gone for the summer quite yet (I hope!) so maybe the fact that I'm dreading it so much is more a sign that I'm already feeling down for other reasons. Either way, it sucks.
I really don't want this blog to be all-whining-all-the-time again, especially since I feel like I've been being selfish and not a good friend (bloggy or otherwise) lately. Maybe I'll write you another LtEHB post to make up for it, although that seems pretty whiny, too.
posted by Lucy @ 11:07 PM
7
comments
7 Comments:
Lucy, I definitely hear you about being depressed at the change of seasons. There's still a couple more months of (potential) warmth, though!
My big tipping point is the change out of Daylight Savings in October. The loss of afternoon light makes a big difference to me (some mild version of Seasonal Affective Disorder?).
Hope once the weather clears up (this weekend?) your spirits will lift.
It's a tough time of year, I think. This is the time of year everyone faces the wreckage of their always overly optimistic summer plans. I'm pretty cranky about the change of weather too.
I like the way you talk about writing LtEHB posts. It's like, if we behave, and we are really, really good, then maybe you'll reward us with another LtEHB segment. We're behaving. Really!
It's *supposed* to get warmer again, if (as I think) we 're on the same coast.
I know what you feel about all the things you're avoiding. I'm avoiding too. We could avoid together -- well, virtually, that is.
Except I hope you feel better, not worse.
Like Kermit, I find the end of Daylight Savings Time to be my tipping point. I also find that going on long walks outdoors to soak up the light helps substantially.
I'm sorry about the lab stuff! I'd offer advice, but considering I became a stay-at-home parent precisely because work productivity caused me no end of emotional upheaval, I've got no advice to give.
Thanks for the sunny thoughts, everyone. I hope you're right about it getting warmer again. I'm feeling better today (trying not to think about the lab stuff, though).
Sheepish, I know you're being very good :) That's why I feel bad that it's taking me so long to finish the story. It's hard to write, though.
Ceresina, a virtual avoiding partner sounds fun, but I hope you can get stuff done and feel better, too.
Phantom, that's a good idea about walking. Hiding in my room is certainly not a good response...
Phantom's on to something with the going-for-walks idea. I've been really affected by moving from one of the sunniest spots in Canada to the "Wet Coast". Walking helps a lot (when I can force myself to go outside). I also try to work by windows a lot, especially when there's any sun out. I'm also considering getting one of those SAD lamps. My old roommate got one, and it really worked.
I can really relate to how you are feeling regarding the weather. With each passing year, I dread more and more the cold months. It makes me so sad to think about the weather turning cold, dreary, and miserable.
I can also relate to how you are feeling regarding the lab stuff. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed myself. I just don't know how I am going to get all the stuff I need done.
For what it is worth and how you are feeling, it is ok to have some teary bad days.
Try to get out into some sunshine this weekend if possible and that might help.
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