tipsy blogging - an experiment

I think I claimed at some point that alcohol has no effect on my anxiety. I haven't had much alcohol at all in quite a while, since I decided it had no effect, because I really don't like the taste much. Tonight though, I went to a party and I figured I'd try drinking and observe more carefully, in case I just hadn't noticed any change in anxiety previously. I had enough to drink that I'm feeling kind of fuzzy-headed and uncoordinated. I think the alcohol did perhaps reduce my inhibitions slightly, in that I was talking louder (maybe even audibly!) and gesturing slightly more exaggeratedly, but my anxiety didn't decrease, so I was inwardly wincing every time I said anything. I didn't find it any easier to think of things to say, or to talk to people I didn't know well, though, so I left early. The difference was more apparent when I was just talking to my friend who I already feel more comfortable talking with, but I don't think there's any benefit to talking louder, when it makes me anxious about seeming obviously drunk, or about anyone noticing a difference in me. I guess drinking could make me more relaxed, but my anxiety is extra vigilant since it would be easier to say or do something wrong. Oh well.