happy pills
Eventually, the voice will grudgingly admit that, while I can't actually do whatever it is I'm "working" on, I do actually have to do it anyway, and will shut up for a bit and let me get something done. I really wish it would give in a bit earlier than 3am, though.
I sent a list of 3 possible papers to my advisor then, hoping he would let me know if any of them were better than my previous choice. He didn't reply, though, and wasn't in lab before the admin person got annoyed with me for not having sent the file out already, so I just picked one and then avoided my advisor all afternoon, because I didn't want to hear that I picked the wrong one again.
I was feeling all accomplished this afternoon after reading lots (look at all those points in the side bar!) and eating real meals. I came home early so I could pick up my prescription for the new round of happy pills (now with bonus anti-shyness action!) and was even feeling optimistic enough to try to convince myself they might do something, this time. I think I spent too long prematurely basking in the joy of productivity, though, and now I'm back to being annoyed with myself for not having started making my powerpoint slides earlier...
posted by Lucy @ 10:25 PM
2
comments
2 Comments:
well you tried to get your advisor's input, so at least on that front you've done all you could do. as for whether or not you picked the 'right' paper - you probably know there isn't really a 'right' or 'wrong' paper, right? now that you've picked one just try to think positively. you'll read some reviews or the paper from this lab just before this one so you know some background and then your powerpoint will have a few background slides describing the system or protein or complex or whatever. then the rest of your slides are bascially the figures from the paper, right?
do people in this departmental journal club expect you to present the paper AND a critical analysis of it or does a discussion of the paper just happen after you present the paper itself? just plan your talk to be like all the other ones that you've seen and you'll get through it.
i hate journal clubs precisely because i always feel pressure to say something intellegent that rips the paper apart or which demonstrates my conviction that this is the best paper ever. or in lab sometimes i feel like i'm supposed to apply the paper to what i work on or what the lab works on. it's stressful! but i survived every single one, even the ones where the WHOLE lab worked on microtubules in mammalian cells and i worked on yeast response to various drugs and i gave journal clubs on THEIR topic so they wouldn't get bored. i knew next to nothing about that field and i did that. and i survived! you will too.
good luck!
Congratulations on picking an article, Lucy.
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