sigh

I'm feeling overwhelmingly sad today. I did have a very good Christmas. I had lunch with a bunch of fellow C'landers, including two adorable little kids, and then a friend from home who's here for a while came over for cake last night. I had a minor freak out beforehand because I never invite people over, but I may have finally learnt my lesson, so I managed to calm down and it was fine.
I was a little sad yesterday when opening my presents from home. I've had one package since October and restrained myself from even looking at the customs form listing the contents by telling myself I only had to wait for Christmas in C'land, but then I didn't feel like opening them because my whole family was out of phone contact, and opening presents alone isn't so fun. I could have tried calling my dad, but "hey Dad, want to listen while I open presents from people who actually sent me something?" probably would've come out too snarky. He wasn't home when I tried him later, anyway. It isn't so fun to open presents when they reveal how little anyone knows me, either. That's entirely my own fault, but it still makes me sad.
I'm not sure why I'm so very sad today. It's partly that I took the weekend as Christmas holidays and was making an effort to be Christmassy, but today is supposed to be back to normal life. Seeing my friend from home was good, but also a little hard for reasons that are a separate post. And I've been trying more to be productive the last couple of weeks, but it's hard and I don't want to go back to work. I guess the fact that all the good things have taken such concerted effort is discouraging.
Last week, I was feeling like I was making some progress, but today that progress seems vanishingly small and the more productive and sociable me that was almost starting to seem an attainable goal is rapidly receding into the distance again.
I am going to pick up my Celexa prescription now. It would be nice if that were solely to blame.