remember S?
Of the LtEHB saga? I just got an email from him saying he's not trying to be friends again, but he has something he really needs to talk to me about and he can't talk to anyone else. He wants me to meet him in person, but he'd settle for talking on the phone or, at worst, online. I'm not sure what to do.
I'm a lot happier and less emotionally fragile now than I was last time he contacted me, so I'm in a better position to be generous and do what he wants, without being guilted into anything I don't want to do. Plus, I can spot his guilt trips more easily to begin with. The phone would be more awkward for me than talking in person, I think, but should I meet with him or just find some way of talking online (I'm certainly not letting him on any contact list where he could see when I'm online)?
I don't know if I'm just thinking I should be obliging, because of course I should always do what other people want me to, because they matter more than me, or if it really wouldn't be a big deal to me to meet him, so why not just be nice? I think it's more of the latter, but is that a good enough reason? At least I'm not thinking that I ruined his life, therefore I'm obliged to do whatever he wants, other than actually be friends with him, so that's progress.
posted by Lucy @ 1:58 AM
6
comments
6 Comments:
Negoitaite a phone appointmentin e-mail and ask for his phone number, so you can call him.
That way, if he gets creepy and calls you back because he got your number on caller ID, you can tell him to stop it and that you don't want to talk to him - thus, you didn't GIVE your number to him.
He's really not creepy, so I don't think that would be a problem. He did give me his number already, but I think I might just meet with him.
I think you should do what's best for you. if that includes meeting his need, great. If not, he'll just have to deal.
What Anastasia said, including choosing the method of talking that you're most comfortable with. I will also go on the record as being a bit dubious about the need for him to talk with _you_, in particular, about whatever this is, but that doesn't mean that if I were in your situation I'd avoid talking to him altogether. Good luck if you try.
And P.S. - I think it's great that you're not feeling an obligatory pressure to respond kindly!
LtEHB! Yessss!
So he wants another strafing with the laser beam eyes? Hmph. I'd say it's totally your call whether you oblige him or not. Either way is ok, because you don't owe him anything at this point, and you need to take care of yourself.
Aside: when I first read "he has something he really needs to talk to me about", I rolled my eyes and thought to myself, "Oh no. Sounds like he wants to tell you he's pregnant."
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