bullets

• I spent about an hour on Friday trying to write an email to a professor at another university, asking for a reagent. I even wrote a blog post begging for advice on how to phrase my request. I didn't post it, though, because a friend, who is a professor, showed up on google talk just at the right time and immediately told me what to say. If only I had read that day's PhD comic, instead of avoiding google reader in the name of being productive, I would have known to ask sooner.

• I included that hour in my tally of time spent working, even though it kind of felt like cheating, since I didn't really have anything to show for it. I certainly didn't do it for fun, though.


• I never posted a Plan post for this month, because I was feeling too pathetic about my lack of productivity. But! I just had my most productive week all year. I worked 71% of the time I spent at lab (80% of the last four days)! Over 31 hours! That's approaching an actual work week!


• I was definitely flagging by Friday, and seriously doubting my interest in science, but hopefully I can keep working like this.
• I saw the therapist this week and told her I've been feeling unmotivated. After I rejected several incentives for doing more work, she suggested I not let myself read unless I'd done a certain amount.


• My feeling horror at that suggestion might indicate that it would be a useful one. I'm not sure I can do it, though.


• I told her that I wasn't sure I wanted to keep doing research like this after I finish my PhD. She asked if I'd be interested in doing research in the humanities instead. As if doing another PhD in an area I've never studied, with many fewer job opportunities than what I'm doing now was a reasonable idea.


• She also suggested library science, since I like books. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't pay me to sit there and read all the books, though.


• I forgot to tell her the part about how maybe I'm unmotivated because I think I suck at what I'm supposed to be doing. That might have been important.


• I feel like I have wasted the whole weekend, so far.


• I do at least have most of a space invaders baby hat to show for it.


• I should at least go to the gym now.


• Why is it that blogger likes to put extra lines of space between items on my numbered lists and yet won't put any space at all between bullets?