wow, that whining really worked
I just finished the second of four sections of my proposal!!!! Well, by "finished" I mean "got some words on the screen for each part" and one of those sections I wrote months ago before my topic went through the latest 2 or 3 mutations so it's not as if I could hand it in now and these are the shortest and easiest sections, but details, details...
posted by Lucy @ 12:36 AM
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comments
7 Comments:
Clap clap clap clap! I'm so glad you've gotten off to such a great start on it.
See, whining is indeed a useful endeavor.
of course, I squandered my start by, among other things, spending an hour listening to Rhapsody in Blue on United's help line... Hmm, maybe this whining will help, though :)
I hope that this comment won't throw a wrench in your progress -- if it does, delete at will, please! But I've just read through your archives, and, my goodness, you sound like I did 10-15 years ago. (I'm 35 now.) Even up to and including the staying in bed all day, selective mutism with anyone who wanted me to talk about my problems, and being able to enumerate every single contact I had ever had with the opposite sex, because there were so few of them. Oh, and also, I attended Prestigious University in New England (ok, there are a few of them but only one of them has a subway), where I pretty much reached the absolute nadir of my life. Perhaps it's something in the water there?
I am telling you this not because I want to twist your arm into telling me your deepest secrets, but because I want you to know that if you HANG ON it will get better. I swear, it will. If anyone had told me at 22 that I would be more or less happy with my life at 35, I never would have believed it. But yet.. there it is.
Ok, end of inspirational speech. Let's all clear our throats now, and get back to our previously scheduled whining.
I just realized my error -- there are TWO Prestigious Universities in New England on the subway. And I am the deserving target of a pointed whine for having immediately thought of only one.
But whichever Prestigious University it is, they're both on the same municipal water system. So the "something in the water" comment still stands.
bother, did I really slip up and mention the subway? I was trying to avoid it for that very reason... At least there are still two options :)
Thanks for your comment, it is encouraging to hear it's possible for things to change. Is there anything specific that helped you?
....thinking about this question....
Hmmm. This is a harder question than it ought to be to answer. Oddly, I did not go into therapy or on meds, though both of those would have been perfectly appropriate responses to the situation. Mostly I just sat around thinking very hard about what exactly my issues were. (Which was easier for me to do once I'd left school and was working a basic crappy job requiring little mental work.) Learning to think critically about my family and the ways they made me think about myself was quite crucial. Also I took a few risks on a relationship or two that made little sense at the time, but (in retrospect) gave me the experiences I needed to be able to recognize a good thing (my husband) when I met him later on. Also, I learned to accept certain things about myself (like my shyness) and stop torturing myself by thinking that I "should" be this way or that way.
I don't think there is any formulaic response to this question. The steps that you've taken sound like good ones. This blog you've got here also seems like it's a good space for you to mull things over. (The subway was something I picked up from your other blog, by the way.)
From what you've written it sounds like there is a lot of material to work through about your family. I sympathize greatly!
oh, I'd actually forgotten that other blog already... so much for it being updated every day.
I already spend a fair bit of time self-analysing (it's almost as good as solitaire for procrastination) but knowing what my issues are hasn't really helped me change anything so far. Thanks for your encouragement.
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