Thanksgiving

I've been avoiding my blog since I wrote the 100 things post. After writing that, I felt kind of empty and exposed and when I read your comments I just ended up crying again. I started worrying that I'd leave it so long to post again that I'd just give up (as with my other blog). I even started a post, but couldn't finish it. I've basically been wanting to find a little hole in the ground to crawl into and hide in real life, too.
Today started out pretty much like that. Some of my housemates didn't go home for thanksgiving and a friend of all of ours is visiting from far away so there was a big feast planned. I was dreading having to spend the whole day with a big group of people with no chance to sneak off by myself, but it turned out okay.
We were cooking most of the day and ended up with enough food to feed at least 30 people (assuming half of them were vegetarian), when there were only 11 of us, and it all tasted amazing. I was relieved when everyone finally left, but I enjoyed being part of the big noisy group around the table.
Anyway, I'm sick of sulking and avoiding people so I'm trying to have a more appreciative attitude and today was a good day for reminding me I have plenty to be thankful for:

• my wonderful housemates who never stop including me, no matter how anti-social I get
• the opportunity to experience new and exciting places and customs (even if I've seen them on tv a million times before :) )
• stuffing and pumpkin pie (and roast potatoes and green bean casserole and yorkshire pudding and lentil loaf and cheesecake and chinese sweet scone-like things and crepes with nutella and whipped cream)
• my labmates, for entertaining lunch time discussions on everything from Harry Potter to politics to the nature of consciousness to the difference between chowder and bisque
  
• my advisor, for being so excited and enthusiastic, despite the fact that I really have no results
• my hour-long commute that gives me the chance to read and daydream
• my friends from home who keep the connection going and give me hope that someday I'll manage to get out of my own head enough to reciprocate properly
• my family who love me and try their best to connect through the obstacle course of our shortcomings

and, especially:

• all of you, my bloggy friends.
  

Thank you for sharing your lives and being examples of love, hope, compassion and thoughtfulness for me to aspire to. Thank you for reading my words and responding with support. Thank you for helping me feel less alone and less freakish.

I hope you all had a happy thanksgiving (or Thursday, for non-americans).