(Pictures by Dave McKean from The Wolves in the Walls by Neil Gaiman)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

nothing

I am feeling slightly better than over the weekend, meaning that I can cope with going to lab and even talking to people, but really, I may as well have stayed home the last couple of days. Yesterday, I literally did absolutely nothing. Today I managed to work my way up to merely figuratively doing nothing (although the difference is pretty insignificant). The fact that my reaction on realising that I would get to the lab at 11.15am was one of delight at being "early" is also pretty demoralising.
I tried to focus on doing a small concrete task, or just to concentrate for 5 minutes at a time, today, but the computer I was using is so sluggish that I couldn't get any momentum going. Plus it's too easy to use the fact that other people use that computer as an excuse not to start (even if they're just checking email and could use a different one).
I haven't seen my advisor this week, luckily, but I'm dreading him asking where I'm up to, since I seem to be going backwards, if anything.
I should really try to accomplish something today, but I just want to go home...

4 Comments:

At 6:47 PM, Blogger jeremy said...

Sorry you are having such a rough time.

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger luckybuzz said...

Ugh, I hear ya, sister, on the lack of motivation/momentum. At least you made it to only figuratively doing nothing! Hope tomorrow's more productive (for you and for me).

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Lucy said...

wolfangel, I've thought about that, but I don't really think I'd be any more motivated next week, or whenever, so it seems worse to take time off. Although, really, the difference in what gets done would be miniscule...

I hope your day was better, luckybuzz, and thanks, jeremy.

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Lucy said...

I think I'd probably feel more guilty and have even less momentum. Weekends certainly don't help...
Maybe if there were some way to convince myself not to feel guilty it might help, but I don't think I can do that.
My advisor really wants to get the project moving, too, since it should be possible to get some exciting results fairly quickly (I want to get the exciting results too, in theory; that just doesn't translate into doing anything about it).
I do appreciate your suggestions, Wolfangel. Thank you. I'm sorry I'm just shooting them down...

 

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