random bullets of angst

• I just called a florist at home to order flowers for my mum for mothers' day (I couldn't think of anything to get her in time for it to actually reach her). I chose a florist based on the examples on websites, but now I'm a little worried. The person I spoke to obviously spoke English as a second language and she kept asking if I wanted something very bright and cheerful. I kept telling her pastel colours, but I'm not sure she heard me, so I hope they don't end up being too garish for my mum's taste.

• Just having to talk on the phone was fairly painful. Or at least, the anxiety that built up was. I was worried the person would be annoyed that I left it until a couple of days before, or that I didn't know exactly what I wanted, or that things would cost too much.
  

• I really liked having a week off between therapy sessions. It seems like fridays come around far too quickly, especially when I'm supposed to have emailed before then. I never remember until Thursday night (or Wednesday, but still ignore it until then), but before I'd have the extra week. Of course, I've already blocked the memory of the last session out so I can no longer answer her questions properly.
  

• On the same topic, I've been addressing the emails to Dr Therapist because I didn't know what to call her and I figured that was safe enough (luckily I haven't had to email the meds nurse), but last time she said she'd noticed that and I can use her first name if I want. I don't know if I want... It seems kind of weird, but is it weird and formal not to?

• My advisor is getting more insistent about a bunch of things I've been saying I'll do and ignoring. I've supposedly been analysing data for the past 3 days, but really I've been looking at florist websites and playing zuma (thanks wolfa! or not...). At least since I'm too cheap to pay for the real version, I've been using all the different free trials and they have a one hour time limit so I can't get sucked in indefinitely, but I am still playing that cute animal game...

• My advisor also asked what I was thinking of doing after I graduate. I am so far from graduating that that question is just horrifying.

• He followed that up by saying "when you get to your last couple of years...", which is almost as bad for its implication that I'm even further from graduating than I thought.

• what on earth am I doing up at almost 2am??

very small anti-whines (with qualifying whines):

• I've woken up before my alarm the past couple of days. This morning I actually got to eat a real breakfast, instead of grabbing something sweet on the way to lab. I also made lunch! I didn't end up needing it because my advisor brought bagels for lab meeting, but that meant I had a non-junk food dinner, at least. (Of course, waking up earlier does not translate into getting out of bed or the house earlier. I smashed the previous record for lateness yesterday (1pm!) and ran into a classmate on the way who asked why I was only just arriving...)

• I just arranged a trip with a housemate to Fun Big City (no alone time for a whole weekend! and I don't think he'll want to do one of the things I really want to do. It's also the weekend after the weekend I'll spend at a conference with 8am starts, so I'll be wanting my sleep-in, not that I don't get enough of them on weekdays, anyway...)