I am such a freak

I went to group therapy again last night. This was the first week of official exposures. We were supposed to get up in front of the group and talk for 3 minutes about a semi-random topic. The group (mainly the therapists) came up with a big list of topics and we were supposed to choose three, then they'd choose randomly from that set so we wouldn't know which one we were talking about until we got up there.
I wasn't feeling all that worried about the idea of talking in front of the group, but I couldn't pick what topics to talk about. We were supposed to pick ones we thought would make us anxious enough to score a 6 on a scale from 1 (no anxiety) to 10 (complete panic attack). Some of them seemed pretty easy, like talking about your job or where you came from, and some I didn't think I'd have anything much to say about, or would be more afraid of sounding like an idiot. I wasn't sure if I should pick the easiest ones to be safe (in which case, would they think I wasn't challenging myself enough?) or something harder (but then maybe it would be harder than I thought and I'd completely look like an idiot). I just sat there being indecisive while everyone else went around saying what they wanted to talk about. Some people wanted the therapists to pick the topics for them, to make it harder. I couldn't decide if I'd prefer that (since then nobody could judge my choices) or not (in case they picked something too hard).
Finally, I was the only one left who hadn't said anything, so one of the therapists asked me directly what I wanted to talk about. By this stage I was already feeling crappy for being so pathetic and indecisive and not saying anything, so when she asked what topics I wanted, in some way that implied she knew I was having trouble, I ended up crying. Every time I've said anything in the group, I've been close to tears, and have had to stop talking to avoid crying. I'm not sure why exactly, other than being generally anxious and self-conscious about not being able to talk. Having someone notice I'm anxious and try to be reassuring generally makes me cry, too, out of embarrassment that they noticed, which creates a nice feedback loop. You can imagine how embarrassed I was with the whole group watching me cry.
I just sat there digging my fingernails into my hands while the therapists talked about how I didn't have to do anything that was too hard for me, or something; I wasn't really focussing on what they were saying. The fact that they (reasonably) misunderstood why I was crying didn't help.
We broke into two groups and once I was no longer the centre of attention, I calmed down a bit and thought I could do the talks. When it got to my turn, though, they made a fuss again about how I could talk about something really easy or for a shorter time or something, which made me embarrassed again. I said I could do the same as everyone else, but when they started the timer I was already feeling like I was going to cry and I couldn't talk at all. We each had to do three talks. I managed to talk a bit about my lab and project in the second one, but then I ran out of stuff to say and got embarrassed again and couldn't finish it and the third one I couldn't talk at all, again. The worst part was that after letting my three minutes run out with me just sitting there wishing I could disappear, they all clapped. It was so humiliating.
The therapists made a big deal out of how great it was that I managed to sit there, even though I was anxious. What else was I going to do? I had to rate my anxiety before and after, with the idea that it would go down. Mine didn't, though. It actually went up, but I was too anxious to talk and just nodded when the therapist asked if it was the same.
I tried to explain that I wasn't actually anxious about talking; I was just embarrassed about crying and that makes it hard for me to talk. I didn't feel like they heard, though. We were trying to get through a lot of talks, so I guess there wasn't time to stop. I guess that's one of the disadvantages of group therapy.
I ended up feeling like a complete freak the whole time, because everyone else (most of whom listed fear of public speaking as the reason they were there) managed to talk and ended up hardly anxious at all by their third one. I just got more and more embarrassed and ashamed.
I think it didn't help my anxiety go down, because I wasn't really feeling anxious, just incredibly ashamed (of crying, and of letting them think I was crying because I was anxious about talking so they were all sympathetic). I don't think shame goes away if you're forced to experience it, and not escape, the way anxiety does.
This kind of group therapy is supposed to be the best treatment for social anxiety, which is why I went to this place. I'm not very optimistic that it's going to help now, which is depressing.