low self esteem is just another reason I suck

My advisor gave me one of his "pep talks" after my dismal committee meeting today. I've been trying to figure out for a while why it annoys me so much when he tries to be supportive and encouraging. I know he means well and he really does care about whether I'm happy, but I still don't like it.

Part of it is that I just get embarrassed and ashamed when people try to talk about anything personal because I can't say anything without crying. Partly, I'm just jealous because he is annoyingly accomplished and well-rounded and nice, or maybe that just makes it seem patronising. He does have a tendency to use his own experience in grad school as an example for what I should be doing. I also got a spiel about how only things that are challenging are really satisfying, with undertones of "only science is really worthwhile (but it's still okay if I would be happy with something lesser)".

Today I realised that what really annoys me is that his advice is the equivalent of saying "just cheer up" to a depressed person. Today he told me to just "let yourself enjoy" the labwork I've said I don't like doing. I shouldn't worry about failing and just focus on getting everything to work as well as possible. But not perfectly, because being a perfectionist is bad, too. I just need to believe in myself and enjoy mastering everything. Okay then. I obviously never thought of any of that before. Problem solved!

Depression is a disease. Low self-esteem is just a character flaw.