I talked

It wasn't so bad. I got there a bit early and kept knitting while I waited, so she asked about that and we talked about knitting for a while to start with (I didn't make any promises about content). I did talk about the other people in the knitting group I was going to, though. Mainly I just answered her questions, but that was still a lot more talking than I usually do. I actually tried to explain some of the misconceptions she's had, like that I've actually been feeling better since the start of the year. I was going to tell her that I stopped taking the medication and that I'd called the social anxiety group people, but I didn't get to that, since she asked about other things.
She was kind of hesitant to even mention it, in case I shut down again, but she did ask if I knew why I was talking more than usual. I couldn't help smiling then (I don't think I've ever smiled in there before) and I told her about the pinky swear. She was so happy that I talked; it was kind of cute. I could see how opening up a little makes other people respond, too. I hadn't really got the impression that she was that interested in why I wouldn't talk or anything, so seeing how happy she was made me feel better.
I'm still only going once a month, so I'm not sure how helpful it will be. We didn't talk about the book we were going to work through and she suggested that maybe we wouldn't need it, if I was going to start talking more, but I'm not sure about that. It makes me feel a little better about the prospect of going to the four hour appointment with the anxiety group people next week, at least, knowing I can actually talk, if I try harder. It was a lot easier once I got started.